ENFORCED DISAPPEARANCES: Women’s fight against state apparatus

Families of victims of enforced disappearances hold a rally in front of the National Museum at Shahbagh on August 30.— New Age

IMAGINE someone saying I would get some peace if I at least get to see the dead body of my beloved one. This is the desire of many families who have fallen victim to enforced disappearances. Although losing someone in the family — father, mother, brother, sister, husband, wife and so — is an indescribable pain, still they want a confirmation of their deaths. Why? It is because it would give them some closure and a sense of their whereabouts. The lack of closure intensifies the pain and it makes it very harder to keep patience. Even after almost a decade, all that the victims’ families want is to see their family members dead or alive and know their whereabouts. Riddhi, a daughter of Parvez Hossain, a victim of enforced disappearance said, ‘Please, give me back my father’s dead body; I want to hold his hands.’

Despite the glorified narratives of national development, these unprecedented incidents manage to gain public attention and take the front coverage of national dailies quite often. The incidents of enforced disappearances and the abuse of human rights have been gaining traction worldwide. Political struggle sidelines the struggle of women of these families. Moreover, in this political debate, the role of women in these cases often remains unfocused.

When a male member of a family is taken away or absent for any reason, how do the women of those families handle their families afterward? We are living in a patriarchal society where women are considered subordinate to men. And as we take a glance at our society, an everyday picture is men handling the ‘outside’ or ‘public’ world whereas women handling the ‘inside’ or ‘private’ world which is usually the life behind the walls of their habitats. When the women lose the presence of the ‘patriarch’ of their family, they find themselves in an ocean of unknown where they are completely clueless about what to do or how to go forward with their lives.

In their expected role in society, these women who are indirect-direct victim to these incidents of enforced disappearances were supposed to keep mum and remain behind the walls as it is assumed that they had little to no knowledge about this vicious ‘outside’ world. However, deviating from the gendered norm, these women have shown tremendous exploration of their role. They not only have moved forward with courage, but also fighting strong to find their beloved one.

The concept of resistance, in light of Lila Abu Lughod, is that resistance does not necessarily have to be something revolutionary; it could be seen in everyday practices. A movement that overthrows a fascist is resistance as well as fighting the slightest gender norm like what to wear.

Among the families I interviewed, the maximum families ranged from lower middle class to upper middle class and nearly everyone were housewives. Women relied completely on their husbands for almost everything. Yet, these women, who never stepped out of their houses to even buy daily necessities, have fought like tigresses. Every story depicts a transition and shows us what women are capable of doing. However, women, being the center of this whole fight also have made sure that the other male members of the family are safe. And, they have done so deviating from societal norm in which the role of protectors is carried out by men. They have taken the responsibilities of seeking justice for the victim, as well as the social roles the victims were playing before their enforced disappearance. The struggle to find their loved ones is the hardest and tiresome, partly because you are going after something that you not sure what it is — whether to ask about their whereabouts or their graves. What had happened to them? In this process, they struggle to manage their hope and fear — the hope of finding them and the fear of losing them forever. This pendulum of hope and fear directs their life.

Women who never stepped out of their houses went to every possible place and knocked on every possible door that might lead to any evidence of the victim’s whereabouts. The state apparatuses such as the police and its detective branch have made sure that they fail at their attempts to find their loved ones, they do so by delaying or disallowing them to file a general diary or a first information report. Fighting all odds and obstacles, women continued their struggle and remained incessant in their search for their loved ones. From forming an organisation named Mayer Dak (a network of the victim families of enforced disappearances) to handling security forces, they have shown their resistance. Mayer Dak was initiated by the sisters of one of the victims. Their relentless efforts have brought many victim families together and it is their collective voice that their demand got hold of public attention. However, state apparatuses tried to break their trust in the disappeared people by telling them that they have gone somewhere of their own will or they might have an extra-marital affair which is why they had abandoned them. They remained unmoved from their position and continued their search for their loved ones. It is their indomitable spirit and quest of finding the beloved ones depicts the notion of Abu-Lughod’s resistance.

However, the current status of the movement is very different from what was in initial stage. The first two years were the most traumatising experience for every family. Immediately after the enforced disappearance, families of the victims frantically search for their loved ones and try to take legal steps. It takes a lot of patience and courage to come out of this frantic phase and return to their present world. However, the growth and transformation of these women and families are extraordinary. Almost every one of them transformed from a docile body to a strong persona. Minu, the wife of Kaiser, who had little to no knowledge about the ‘outside’ world, has been dealing with policemen and media personnel since her husband was abducted. In addition, she has been raising her daughter on her own — a perfect instance of a docile body metamorphosed into a tigress.