A hidden feminist agenda?

My husband is a pseudo-political aficionado who firmly believes that he can be the prime minister of Bangladesh. Or maybe he is not pseudo. Maybe he is very full-on. Actually, yes, he is a total aficionado. I mean, really, ask yourself, how many people in this country do you know who completely believe in the nation and think their ultimate objective is to serve the country as a political leader? In fact, my partner not only believes, but acts on his desires. He was adamant about running for elections this time, and could not, only because his start-up required immediate attention and he had to fly to the US for funds.

Obviously, when he goes on a rant about his dreams, I usually stop him and urge him to consider financial independence before even contemplating politics. There are many, many other practical considerations – how would you fund yourself, why would you want to be in a political spectrum that encourages and will inevitably (?) draw you into a world of vice, how would you feel about the inability to change and bring good to a country that has been marred with selfish acts, who would take you seriously if you run in a joke election, etc. But for a moment, just to humour the dreamer in you, let us consider the flip side of these arguments.

The government of Bangladesh aka the Awami League (AL), has just won a victory in what was essentially a one-party election. Despite the complete lack of validity of the elections, AL has proclaimed itself victorious, has formed a government, and is going about business without, very frankly, much ado from international actors.

The opposition – hmm, whom do we actually call the opposition now? – the Bangladesh Nationalist Party (BNP) – is in virtual tatters with many of its senior members behind bars and a lack in its fire-power with wrong, politically suicidal decisions in place. The Jatiya Party has finally made it clear that the backbone is for another time, another place, and remains quiet to be in the good books of the oh-so-powerful quasi-dictatorship of the country.

I cannot remember a time when democracy was so much at stake in this nation, or a time when everything seemed so helpless that no one dared to intervene in the status quo. But why this stupor? Have we really lost all hope?

Perhaps, this is simply a time for change. With dead parties – one clearly more interested in running a theocracy, while the other looks left, right, and centre for new moves – it is perhaps a tremendous opportunity for us to lead. Revamp existing parties, create new ones, run as independent candidates, push for change through initiatives that range from persuading friends who will be fantastic leaders to running a campaign to garner support for a true democratic election – the list of to-dos goes on and on.

There is also the possibility that a one-party state is what we need. There are the East Asian giants to consider as examples of non-democratic states that have done well. The only change that we need then is a change in the ruling party demeanour. You and I do not want this AL in power forever, do we?

If nothing else, let us change this AL. Is it difficult to do so? Sure. Is politics dirty? Sure it is. But is there a total lack of new blood in the king-queen game of Bangladesh? Yes. An emphatic  yes.  True that you may be compromising on your principles if you join one of the sides in this dirtiness, but even an iota of change would ensure a better ruling elite in the future than the backseat criticism practiced by the 150 million people here, there, everywhere. When they criticise, ask yourself if you really cannot muster the courage to ask them- what have they done? Nothing.

It is a difficult choice to make. And a highly risky one. Many of us will not take this up. Some of us will consider home, family, career or what-have-you.  That is understandable. But even a tiny bit of effort, not all the way into Hasina-ship, but creating a more informed, more energised community in any which way can be highly fruitful.

Shahbagh, before it became a fiasco, comes to mind. A well-written blog directed at the international populace also comes to mind. Creating a programme at a local university to create future leaders; Anadda to discuss political situation of Bangladesh and what the future can be; not teaching children that a DV VISA is all you need to be the happiest of beings; the list really does go on and on.

And home-makers – seriously, must you commit all your hours and your entire being to raising children and feeding husbands? I know of such talented women who will be fantastic mothers and adorable wives and oh-so-amazing mothers-in-law,and even though you are doing the most incredible thing in creating a next generation of thinkers, we really need you now to do something for the country by yourself.

Give this nation 30 minutes of your time each day, and think what you can do for it today, even if this patriotism comes after cooking your child’s favourite meal and watching your favourite soap opera and heeding to your husband’s hundredth request (or order) to make tea for him because Sokhina’s tea making prowess is not good enough. Maybe you enjoy being this way. Maybe we need more of you (I highly doubt it, but I will keep my opinions to myself for now). But for a minute, think of giving back to the country in a more public manner. Just organise a bake sale for Rana Plaza victims next time. Or consciously try to steer your next kitty party conversation to deeper issues than where to buy the best sarees from. And make a list of what comes out of that conversation and act on it for God’s sake.

I would like to be in a country that has not lost all its faith in women in power through the unfortunate acts and words of the two ladies. I would also like to be in a country whose women do not come to power just through the demise of fathers and husbands and where gaining a seat in the parliament is a matter of simple affirmative action that puts underserving female candidates in to the forefront simply because of their gender.

And yes, I am being unfairly critical of the women indoors, because I firmly believe that there is a country-load of talent there just waiting to explode. Yes, you enjoy having dependent children who think of their mothers as nannies and cooks, but think how much more fun it would be for you if the whole country thought of you as her governess.

Let us try together before it is too late. And men, this is not a call for you to be even more unmindful of your loved ones by sacrificing yourself for Bangla-land or however melodramatically you want to portray it. No career in the history of mankind needs ALL your time. So buckle up, earn your living, serve the country without empty criticisms and monthly efforts to sail ship to Canada, and make that tea yourself while you are at it.