Prothom Alo
I started my first job at the UNESCO Cultural Heritage Division after completing my master’s. My aim was to work on the Sundarbans World Heritage project. However, since I was working as a programme officer in the cultural division, I had to oversee other cultural heritage-related projects. You may be surprised to know that UNESCO is the only organisation within the United Nations where scientific research on culture is conducted. However, it is unfortunate that culture is the most underfunded agenda!
Those of us who grew up in Bangladesh typically view culture with visual arts, music, literature, and so on. However, the most important aspect is intangible cultural heritage (ICH). In communities like ours, which are rich in both natural and cultural resources, this intangible cultural heritage is at the core. According to UNESCO’s definition, this heritage includes practices, presentations, expressions, knowledge, and skills that are essential for community-based empowerment.
In my long career and research life, I have worked extensively on community empowerment and the distribution of benefits. I have often wondered why, despite having so many natural resources, we still beg for help. Every time I go abroad for a conference or seminar, I have to begin by saying that we are a ‘beggar’ country! Honestly, at that moment, I don’t feel like attending the seminar anymore.
In our extended family-based society, it is crucial to understand how economic distribution and decision-making work. Our family system is father-based, where the father is the primary earner and decision-maker. According to Muslim law, since sons inherit two-thirds of the property, they are responsible for the extended family’s affairs. Since we are taught from a young age that financial responsibility lies with the father, we never make any effort to earn. We do not receive any training in age-appropriate skills or earning. Moreover, we do not help our mothers with domestic work. We think domestic responsibilities are solely for our mothers and housemaids. As a result, we fail to acquire practical skills beyond rote memorisation in school.
Even though our mothers work extremely hard, they have no say in decision-making. This directly impacts the children, especially when it comes to wealth distribution and leadership. Since women have no economic responsibilities, they are not accountable for their empowerment. There is no mental or physical training on how to coordinate with the family and stand on their own feet. In most cases, mothers think that by keeping their children dependent on them, they can maintain control over them. These dependent children may do well academically, but they cannot manage both family and professional life. When I was doing my PhD in Australia, I noticed the plight of Bangladeshi students. The situation is such that before completing the first year of their PhD, they marry and place all the household responsibilities on their wives. This is not just in Australia, but also in Canada, where many women suffer due to this system, especially working women.
In our family culture, only the earning father has the freedom to express an opinion. Since we do not learn to speak up, we do not understand how to make decisions as adults. Most of the time, we stand silently, heads down. As long as our parents are alive, they do not want to retire. I have noticed that this also affects society and the state. Our country is run by government officials, professionals, and political leaders, and none of them want to retire. As a result, younger generations never come to power.
Although the legal age of adulthood in our country is 18, we remain dependent on our fathers indefinitely. Fathers are expected to complete our education, find us a job, and arrange our marriage. In a poor country like ours, where most people are working-class and impoverished, fathers do not have two-thirds of their property to pass on. Even the middle class is in a dire state, as their salary is barely enough to support their wives, children, parents, siblings, and relatives. We do not have any family-based savings programmes, which is why many people spend everything and then have to beg for more. From a young age, we are not taught to budget or save with a priority system. I have noticed that most boys cannot save money and end up borrowing to support their extended families.
Beyond family, there are our region-based various hospitality and protocol traditions, such as dowries, iftar meals, Jamai Shasthi (son-in-law’s celebration), mango-jackfruit celebrations, and Eid festivals. In almost every celebration, there is a lot of exchange of clothes, food, and money in the bride’s family. I believe that excessive spending on food and money under the guise of hospitality is putting our social security in jeopardy.
We are no longer in the era of Shaista Khan, when one could buy eight maunds of rice for a single taka. Now, we carry an endless burden of debt, and we consider begging to be a source of pride. The leading headlines in our newspapers focus on how much ‘alms’ different countries are giving. We need a project titled ‘We will not die begging!’ The aim of this project would be to stop family-based begging and ensure cultural and collective empowerment. Finally, we must understand that helping someone and begging are two entirely different things.
*Shahida Khanum is PhD, Board Member, International Union for Conservation of Nature, Canada
